The Progress: Part 4

Well, it’s now officially been 2 weeks since I stopped Dicetel, and a very eventful two week it surely was. To summarize, it’s been all about headaches, sensitivity and mucus. Lot’s of mucus.

Urgh, where do I even begin! It all began when I had a burger. I don’t know what it had that triggered such a violent response from my body, but it did the trick alright. It’s been quite some time since I had gas/bloating related issues, glad to inform you it’s now back. Once again, I’m greeted with morning cramps and bloating, until I either pass all the gas or have a bowel movement.

If the gas and cramps weren’t enough, there’s always the sea of mucus spewing from my back-end. Okay, I’m exagerating here, but in all honestly, my movement are either now covered in that stuff, or it’s more than enough to be expelled as a clump or plug of mucus. But I could live with it. It’s not always bad. I can afford to be far from the toilet for extended hours without too much anxiety setting in. Just today I went to the zoo for a whole 6 hours, including trip time. Sure, I had my down/panic moments, but at least I had a ton of fun. You can read about my zoo trip at my other blog here.

What I can’t stand however, is everything else. The random tooth sensitivity, and now somehow, headaches. It’s not like I’m not doing anything to it, I had a procedure done and everything. But somehow, it was better before I had the procedure done. The abcess would come, and it would go. Now, the abcess bump is always there (a very small bump however). I’m now seriously considering just extracting the tooth. Adding insult to injury, I’m also having random tooth sensitivity at my other teeth (just a few specific ones), which I just am ignoring currently. It comes and goes. Sometimes it’s completely fine and some other time, it just feels sensitive for no reason (not particularly to hot/cold).

Last annoying sensation is feeling as if you have mucus stuck in your throat, almost constantly. This also comes and goes, but it’s rather annoying truthfully. The mucus sorts of smells too (not like puss/rotting kinda smell, but just has a distinct scent to it). My muscles around the body randomly gets sore too. The most recent muscle that got rather sore was on my left knee. It fixes itself, but it’s getting quite annoying to be dealing with lots of sensations throughout the day.

To whomever that’s reading this entry, please, if you’ve ever experienced anything like this, just drop me a comment on what it is so I’ll at least have an idea what I’m having.

That’s all I have for this entry. I wish for the best of health for you all! Thanks for reading!

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The Anxiety

Quite ironically, eventhough this blog is called myanxiouswords and Anxiety Diary, I have never actually detailed what I’ve been going through, and what actually brought upon my anxiety.

Since I can ever remember, I have always been one not to show much signs of stress, at least emotionally. During stressful situations, I have always managed to stay calm and composed. However, there’s always some form of “ticks” present. The ones I could remember are muscle twitches, trembling, headaches, facial pressures, breathlessness and sometimes even feeling faint. If these symptoms seem familiar to you, it’s because – as what I’ve gathered – they’re the same symptoms of an anxiety or panic attack, save for the rapid breathing of course.

So what triggered this latest bout of non-stop anxiety you might ask. I’ve managed to narrow it down to either actually an IBS flare, or Food Poisoning, or maybe even both at once. As I recall, I have told the story on the trip to Pahang, when I got the food poisoning. But what I haven’t told – I think – is that the next day, while still recovering, I actually had to go to Malacca. During the honestly short drive there – which felt forever to me – I had to stop about 10 times, but every time, nothing came out.

From that point onwards, I somehow think that my brain has linked driving with diarrhea. So whenever I drive, or generally not in the vicinity of a toilet, I get nervous, which in turns makes me run to the toilet. But I have been feeling better lately. I have been strictly controlling the food I eat. No processed food (sorry, McDonald’s), reduced lactose, reduced fried/fatty foods and generally just strictly following the FODMAP diet. It actually works!

I have been a lot less gassy, bloated and my body has finally accepted Dicetel. I don’t get much heartburn or anxious – as long as I don’t push myself too far outside of the comfort zone. I’m seriously greatful to finally just be able to do my work properly again. I’m also trying to pay less attention on how I’m feeling for the day, though I do keep a note to show my GI (perhaps it could be useful to him).

However, not all is perfect. I still have some anxiety every now and then. Even as I’m typing this, my breathing just feels difficult or heavy, and I feel an odd pressure like sensation in my nose. I got it checked last week and I had no sinusitis to speak off. The doctor even gave me anti-histamines just to be safe. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.

As of now, I’m just trying to look on a brighter side. It’s just one problem after the other. I guess it’s just my time to be sick currently, and with every downs, there will be ups. I’ll just have to wait patiently for that day to come again once more.

Sidenote; I actually cried the other day, because life just seems unfair. But then it hit me, it could actually be worse, and others do have it worse. So keep that in mind everyone, if you’re feeling down, or depressed. There’s always someone out there who has it worse than you, so be greatful.

Thanks for reading!

 

The Other Issues

Random thought of the day; I strongly believe that toothaches could legitimately be used as a weapon at some point in the distant future. I’m having a toothache as I type this, even though I’ve tried my best to go to the dentist and actually tried fixing the damn tooth! 

Some backstory; I’ve always had bad tooth, even as a child. At one point in my life, I honestly think I went to the dentist more than once a month just from the sheer number of work I actually needed on them. My dentist attributes this to a) having shitty genes and b) acid reflux. 

My tooth got significantly worse (and better) around the time I got braces. It’s better because it’s at least more neatly arranged now. Worse because they had to stop treatment slightly sooner than expected due to a minor complication. A complication which involved my tooth chipping. Badly chipping. When is say bad, I mean like really bad. Most of my front tooth had to have composite cement to reshape them, quite an unsightly thing to behold. More than 70% of my tooth has had work done on them.

But I got used to it. So did the people around me. At first I was embarrassed, but now, not as much. I don’t actually mind them looking bad, but with cavities, come toothaches.

However, they still do chip, and break, and get cavities oh so easily. I actually envy my other friends. One of em hardly ever brushes his teeth, but with very minimal cavities. I brush mine twice a day and I use mouthwash each time, but what do I have to show for it? Cavities. 

I honestly envy those perfect smiles of the people around me. When my teeth first started going bad, I developed a habit of shielding my mouth when I laugh. It’s second nature now. But I’m glad my friends don’t mock me (at least directly) about it. 

There are worse things to have in the world honestly, compared to IBS and poor dental health, but sometimes, you just can’t help of dreaming, “What if I’m….normal”. 

Oh well, that’s all I can’t rant about today while I’m sitting here trying my best to ignore the pain. It comes and goes, but I’ll survive.

Next I’ll actually tell you guys what’s with the pain I’m having now! Thanks for reading my rants! As always, have a nice day! 

The Progress: Part 3

It’s been a while since I last shared anything. Work has been absolutely busy lately, not that I mind. I’ve been feeling pretty good lately. Not too much anxiety, I can do my work properly, and my bowel movements have been pretty regular, athought they’re still at Type 1. 

I got an abscessed tooth taken care off the other day but recovery has been rather slow since my GI wouldn’t allow me to be on antibiotics. Every now and again the tooth would feel slightly sensitive and that makes my heart rush slightly. I hope that will resolve itself soon.

But I have had quite a few little wins over the past few weeks! I went to watch a movie, Split, which to me was really good, but the ending does seem to be rather abrupt. Also went to a sushi place and hanged out with some friends and bought a new book to read. I’ve forgotten how good it feels to just go out and have some fun shopping time with friends.

This is honestly the first period in months where I can say I feel even remotely normal. Sure, I’m still scared to go out of my comfort zone too much, but I’m making efforts to actually go out! I guess that counts for something.

The bloating is still present, but it has reduced, and I don’t feel too horrible in the mornings now. The dry mouth also comes and goes, and so does the headaches or dizziness. I will however stop taking Dicetel next week as part of the plan with my GI to assess my condition with and without the medication.

I have been taking daily logs of my BM and how I generally feel throughout the day. I hope I’ll see a change for the better, even without the meds. Wish me luck! 

Thanks for reading!