The Preparation

Damn oh damn! Preparation. If you were wondering what this chapter entails, heads up, it’s a poop-fest. 

Since I went to the hospital quite late, my check in procedure was done at about 2 PM, where lunch has already been served. So I missed that. To make matters worse, for dinner, to help with the prep, I was only served plain rice porridge. Not that it matters anyway, because for the next 8 hours, I will undergo “THE PURGE”. 

It first started with 2 pills of laxatives (Dulcolax). Pills are fine, I don’t really mind pills. The gruesome part of the ritual is a liquid laxative called FORTRANS. They gave me 2 hours to finish 4 liters of the solution. My GI said it tastes like juice. He lied. It’s plain salty, and nausea inducing.

So I chugged along, the first few glass did make me bloated and nauseous, but as I read around online, the bloating will subside as you drink more. Weird, I know, but trust me, it works! Just keep drinking. Some other helpful tips were to drink it with a straw so you wouldn’t taste it as much. But I gulped it like a champ! 

Here comes the weird amusing part. When my GI came over to check up on my progress, he asked, “How much have you drank?”, to which I replied, “one whole jug, moving on to the next”. He was stunned. He said most people will have intense BMs at around the 2-3 cup mark. I had drank about 2 liters of FORTRANS and all I have to show was just more pee.

Disappointed with my progress, he asked the nurse to add 2 more liters and 2 more laxative pills for me. Music to my ears! *sarcasm*

As I was halfway done with the third liter, the urge came. And it continued to come even when I already had nothing left in me to be expelled. I’m literally just peeing from my butt at this point (Note: it will literally just look like pee. This is normal. Don’t be alarmed. It’s bile). Word of advice, if you could, please use wet wipes when wiping your anus throughout this exercise. I’ve read that wiping this frequently over a short period of time could irritate your anus. I just used water to clean mine, much easier.

I only got a few hours worth of sleep that night. I’m glad I have an IV attached. At least I can rest easy knowing I won’t be dehydrated from having this much movements.

When I woke up the next day, I was greeted with more laxatives, and more FORTRANS. Just when right through me. Not kidding, had 2 cups and I was on the throne within seconds. I don’t think my insides were ever this clean, not even as a newborn.

In the next part, I’ll continue about the actual procedure and the results.

Thanks for reading! 

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